If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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