Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
