shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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