i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
