Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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