no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
