I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
