and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
