the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
