i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
