I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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