oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
