ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When did angry sex become our thing?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
