what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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