There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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