he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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