Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
