Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just found puke in my bra..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
