I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
