Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
