If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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