never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
