I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
