can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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