I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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