Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
