he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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