life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
