If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
where are my eyebrows?
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