just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
