weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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