Plan B is the new Plan A
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
