whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize