he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
