oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
