sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
