Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
