apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
