so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
