Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
