So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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