Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
