found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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