Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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