i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
