I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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