then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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