Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
