Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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