is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
