Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
