guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
