he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
