When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
