just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
